Social Meditation

"As long as meditation is defined as sitting silent and alone, it's not going to catch on. We are human primates. We're social in our very bones." – Kenneth Folk

Context: This talk was given by Vince Fakhoury Horn on a private 10-day meditation retreat–January 22–31, 2025–with the Syntony and The Field communities in Chorin, Germany at the House on the Lake. It was given half-way through the retreat, as we transitioned from a fully silent retreat container into one in which we'd be doing a few hours of social meditation each day.

Introduction

"As long as meditation is defined as sitting silent and alone, it's not going to catch on. We are human primates. We're social in our very bones." – Kenneth Folk

This may sound strange in the middle of a 10-day retreat where we've spent time in silence. However, we haven't been sitting alone - we've been sitting together. We haven't been defining meditation as something done in silence alone.

Two Types of Practice

We're exploring two different ways of practicing on this retreat:

1. "Single player meditation" (which we've done in the first half of the retreat)

2. Social meditation (which we'll explore starting now through the end)

Origins of Social Meditation

I first learned this approach when Kenneth called me on Skype about 15 years ago. At that point, I'd been studying with him for about five years and had just started teaching. He introduced what he called "ping pong noting" - taking the mental noting technique we knew and doing it out loud together.

This was shocking initially because the technique had been developed in a monastic tradition where people were almost always silent. It was revolutionary to do it out loud.

Key Elements of Social Meditation

Social meditation is:

1. Done out loud

2. Peer-to-peer

3. Inherently interactive

4. Based on simple, trauma-informed protocols

The Role of the Facilitator

The facilitator's role differs from a traditional teacher. They:

• Understand and guide the process

• Practice alongside others

• Support three key phases:

  1. Instruction phase

  2. Practice phase

  3. Reflection phase

The Importance of Reflection

The reflection phase allows participants to:

• Process what happened during practice

• Share observations

• Ask questions

• Learn from the experience

Benefits of Social Meditation

1. Brings meditation benefits into relationship

2. Improves engagement and decreases mind wandering

3. Creates consistent positive pro-social states

4. Helps see the non-duality of self and others

5. Provides more effective learning through direct observation

6. Is backward compatible with solo meditation

Safety Considerations

• Sessions are typically limited to 20-30 minutes due to intensity

• Include safety release valves (ability to pass or say "don't know")

• Offer witness roles for those who prefer to observe

• Practice in groups of three or more for safety

Remember Christopher Vitali's words: "To truly deal with the challenges of our age, we will need to learn how to think, act, experiment, learn, value, and meditate in networked ways."